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”Boys”

Liz Patton

I had a light bulb moment recently while reading a book of encouragement for mothers of young children called And Then I Had Kids by Susan Alexander Yates.  In her book, Susan says, “The Lord has given us exactly the children we need to help us become the people He wants us to be.”
Let me first take a step backwards to share why this is such a profound statement to me.  There was a time in my life when I never thought I would be blessed with children.  Jason and I struggled for years with infertility, and I had such an intense longing to be a Momma.  Then, the Lord in His awesome wonder blessed us with a healthy baby boy.  I was over the moon in love with this little guy and so happy to finally be a Momma.  Then, a few years later the Lord in His goodness blessed us with another little boy. 
As much as I loved these little boys and the joys that come with them (sweet-smelling sweaty necks at the end of a warm summer day, invitations to play in the dirt or mud, light saber fights, Hot Wheel races, and pirate battles–just to name a few) I still had this quiet longing for a little girl.  This yearning had nothing to do with cute, pink girlie clothes, but rather the relationship between a mother and her daughter.  You see, my relationship with my own Mom is something that I cherish.  I can and do tell her everything, and she is one of my most precious friends.  And, so I was longing for that same relationship with my own daughter.  But, I felt almost guilty thinking these selfish thoughts because the Lord knows best, and shouldn’t I just be grateful that I had children since there was a time in my life when I didn’t even think that that would be possible?
When I got pregnant for the third time, I was once again amazed at God’s goodness.  I need to say that this third pregnancy happened not because I wanted a girl, but rather because we simply had a desire for another child.  As much as I secretly hoped that this child would be a girl, in my heart of hearts, I knew it would be a boy.  I was beginning to feel like a “Boy Momma” and wondered if I would even know what to do with a girl.
Sure enough the ultrasound showed a little “turtle”—the obvious sign of a boy.  I tried to wrap my mind around the thought of being the only woman in a house full of men.  I also tried to shrug off comments by other women like, “Well, my family is complete since we’ve got one of each.” (Yes, someone actually uttered those insensitive words to me.)
So, I am especially thankful for this quote by Susan Yates which is a gentle reminder that God has given me what He knows is best for me.  Although I don’t have all of the answers, I find comfort in knowing that He does.  In her book Susan goes on to say that, “There’s comfort in knowing that the Creator of our children is guiding us and has His hand on us and on our children.  He will show us how to mold these precious gifts into the people He has created them to become and in the process we, too, will grow.” And, with my feet deeply-rooted in that little boy dirt and mud that is all around me, grow is what I plan to do.